Love with Nails in Its Hands
“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” — John 13:35
Love is the defining feature of the Christian faith. ‘God is love’ (1 John 4:8 & 16). Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 13 are no dry definition – they sing with the beauty and cost of love that bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things. Jesus says that the two greatest commandments are to love God and to love our neighbour (Matt. 22:37–40). The Apostle Paul tells us that love is the fulfilment of the law (Rom. 13:10). Yet, in a cultural moment where the word “love” is used to mean everything from emotional validation to unconditional affirmation of all behaviours, Christians face an urgent challenge: what does it mean to love like Jesus?
As followers of Jesus, we must constantly examine our understanding of love in light of Scripture. Are we offering the world a deeper, richer, more costly and transformative love, or are we merely echoing society’s preferences under the guise of compassion?
Love in a Culture of Confusion
Today, “love” is perhaps the most misused and misunderstood word in the English language. To love someone, in the dominant cultural script, is to never question, never confront, never correct. Popular slogans such as “love is love” suggest that love is self-justifying; whatever we call “love” must be good, simply because we’ve named it so. In this framework, love becomes synonymous with affirmation, particularly of identity and desire.
But is this the kind of love Jesus embodied?
If Christian love is indistinguishable from the world’s version, then surely something is wrong? The gospel is a message of transformation, not mere affirmation. “Come as you are,” yes! But also, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). Jesus never left people where He found them. He offered mercy and grace – and then called people to repentance, renewal, and holy living. The woman caught in adultery in John 8 is not condemned, but neither is she affirmed in her lifestyle. Jesus tells her, “Go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:11).
So, Christian love must be something more, something stronger, than cultural sentimentality. It must reflect the cruciform love of Jesus – the kind of love that is both self-sacrificing and truth-telling.
What Does Christian Love Demand?
Real Christian love - agapē love - is not simply a feeling. It is not mere kindness, tolerance, or even friendship. Agapē is the love of the Cross. It is covenantal, sacrificial, and holy. Love without moral clarity is sentiment, not salvation. True love knows the difference between helping and harming, and always chooses the way that leads to life.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, perhaps echoing the words of William Booth, called cheap grace “the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance.” Likewise, we might call sentimental love the offering of comfort without calling to transformation. True love demands truth. In the words of General Linda Bond: “God’s mission of redemption is born of his love and his holiness. His love reaches out; his holiness transforms.”
Christian love is committed to the good of the other person. Not merely their comfort or happiness. And the highest good for every human being is to know God, become like Christ, and live in the Spirit. If we love people, we must love them toward Christ.
This kind of love is not always welcomed. Jesus was crucified not only because He healed, but because He confronted sin, challenged hypocrisy, and proclaimed the Kingdom of God. Love that tells the truth is sometimes perceived as judgmental; yet genuine love does not stay silent in the face of sin; it speaks to heal, but not to harm.
A Better Kind of Love
Is the Church’s love better than the world’s love? That would be a bold claim, and one which would need to be made carefully. “Better” does not mean “more superior” in tone or posture. Rather, Christian love is deeper, longer-lasting, and ultimately salvific. It is the love of a Saviour who died for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8), not because of what we had done but because of who He is.
It is a love that sees the full truth about us – our brokenness, selfishness, rebellion – and chooses to move toward us anyway. But it is also a love that calls us out of that brokenness into holiness and new life.
This is what the Church must offer: a love that tells the truth, walks alongside, bears the cost, and points to the Cross. In the words of William Booth: “We must wake ourselves up! Or somebody else will take our place, and bear our cross, and thereby rob us of our crown.” We must wake up to the need for a deeper love than the world can offer.
Loving Without Judging?
But how do we speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) without sounding judgmental or exclusionary? The key lies in how we engage with people. Jesus didn’t shame sinners, He sat with them. He didn’t water down truth, He embodied it. His love was always personal, always relational, and always costly.
The Church must recapture the art of relational holiness. Where we live lives of integrity, humility, and hospitality, allowing truth to be seen as well as heard. Holiness is not a weapon; it’s a witness. When people experience our love as patient, consistent, prayerful, and rooted in the grace we ourselves have received, they are more likely to receive our truth.
In a Salvation Army context, this means our social services must be routed in holiness, not divorced from it. It means our preaching must be soaked in compassion, not condemnation. It means our discipleship must include both care and challenge. As General Lyndon Buckingham recently reminded us: “The world does not need a watered-down gospel. It needs a loving, radical, transforming gospel rooted in Christ.”
The Cost of Love
To love like Jesus is not safe. It costs. The Cross teaches us that love and suffering often go hand in hand. If we are serious about loving others, we must be willing to be misunderstood, rejected, even hated. Jesus says: “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first” (John 15:18).
Sometimes, love means holding the hand of someone dying. Sometimes it means saying “no” to someone’s desires for the sake of their soul. Sometimes it means standing in solidarity with the outcast. And sometimes it means confronting sin in our own hearts before we ever confront it in others.
Real love has nails in its hands. In the words of Isaac Watts: ‘Love so amazing so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all’.
The Salvation Army: Love in Action
The Salvation Army has always been about love in action. Not sentimental love, but strong love. Love that feeds the hungry and calls them into discipleship. Love that opens its doors to the homeless and offers holiness meetings.
Our history is full of examples. Catherine Booth, who ministered boldly in the slums of Victorian England, didn’t hesitate to call sin what it was; but neither did she flinch in offering compassion. In her words: “If we are to better the future, we must disturb the present.” That’s what love does: it disturbs what is comfortable, in order to bring what is holy.
Our work today must carry that same spiritual DNA. Whether it’s addiction services, refugee support, or corps-based evangelism, the question must be asked: Are we loving people with the love of Christ, or just the ‘love’ of the world?
Conclusion: Love That Transforms
Love is the greatest commandment, but not all “loves” are the same. Christian love is not a permissive feeling but a redemptive force. It is God’s nature, God’s gift, and God’s calling. It is neither harsh nor hollow. It is neither affirming of sin nor afraid to embrace the sinner. It is the love that makes saints out of sinners and soldiers out of the lost.
As Salvationists, let us commit again to this kind of love: love that goes to the margins, love that tells the truth, love that picks up the Cross. Let us resist the cultural temptation to flatten love into affirmation or shrink it down into slogans. Let us instead be known for a love that transforms—because it flows from the God who is Love.
I believe in transformation; do you?!
Discussion/Reflection Questions
How do we distinguish between cultural love and Christian love in our ministries?
Are there areas where we have compromised truth for the sake of acceptance?
How can we grow in grace and truth together as a corps/community?
What does it mean for our practical ministries (food banks, shelters, youth work) to be grounded in the love of Christ?
How can we equip our people to speak lovingly and truthfully in a world of confusion?